


fjord has never made a flower crown before

by Bagell



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gift Giving, Greyromantic Character, Greyromantic Fjord, M/M, Not Beta Read, it's not talked about ALL that much in this fic but i definitely hc fjord greyro-ace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25077700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagell/pseuds/Bagell
Summary: "Because the jacket he wears today is one Caduceus made."-Fjord gets a gift, and makes one in return.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 12
Kudos: 137





	fjord has never made a flower crown before

**Author's Note:**

> first cr fic aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh not beta'd

Fjord has never made a flower crown before. 

Even though, well, that shouldn’t really matter. What he’s making right now isn’t even  _ really _ a flower crown. 

It’s a sun hat, with little flowers all over it, real ones, because somehow Fjord thinks Caduceus will like that, even if, or especially because, they’ll eventually die.

(Fjord will carefully weave new ones on when they do.)

It’s not really a flower crown, but still a part of Fjord really wants to get it  _ right _ , get the exact placement of the flowers right and natural-looking and beautiful, so he asked Beau for Reani’s number and called her for help. And because Reani is Reani, a call simply wouldn’t suffice once she realized what he was up to. So now he’s on facetime with her, face  _ burning _ as he tries not to reveal too much of himself even as he feels like the task she’s walking him through is one of the most intimate things he’s ever done for someone. 

“No, no,  _ under,” _ Reani is saying. “See the little loop you just made? Take the stem and…”

He feels incredibly warm, even though he’s only wearing a light jacket and today could barely be considered hot. But he’s so  _ aware _ of the jacket around his shoulders, the fabric on his back, and every time he looks down (often) he burns with pride and happiness and gratitude and the feeling that somehow, he has recently become the luckiest person in the world.

Because the jacket he wears today (and every day for the past two weeks since he got it, a fact that Beau has definitely noticed but has yet to comment on. Caduceus also noticed, Fjord thinks, because he had a little smile on his face when Fjord wore it the day after he got it) is one Caduceus made. 

Well, not made. But Caduceus is taking a screen printing class right now, and decided to use one of his projects in the class to print on a hoodie for  _ Fjord.  _ It’s a big grey hoodie, probably originally one of Caduceus’ or one of his siblings’, and on the back is a printed symbol of the Wildmother, but designed by Caduceus to highlight more of the oceanic parts of her Domain (the parts that Caduceus is still trying to embrace as much as the rest of Her, the parts that Caduceus knows Fjord is more familiar and comfortable with), with seaweed and a crystal-like design in the shape of a wave. In the center of the symbol, holding the seaweed and crystal together like a tether, is an iron spike, strong and unyielding.

The symbol is done up in blues and greens and little hints of sunlight coppery gold (these are messier, almost as if Caduceus thought it would be nice after he’d already finished his original plan), and Fjord couldn’t figure out why it looked so slightly strange on his form (when it felt so right, so brave, so proud) until he realized he hadn’t worn anything other than dark reds, greys, blacks, and browns in forever. (Which is also probably why Beau’s eyebrows had shot up so quickly and everyone had noticed the change in wardrobe the next few days.)

Fjord somehow feels like the spike, the whole symbol really, is to make him feel more secure (which is ironic, really, that one of Fjord’s greatest insecurities is ties so close to one of his greatest loves; the fear of being alone, swept away, is so likely to be realized in the ocean), to remind him that he has a tether in Her, and, a large part of Fjord still can’t quite fathom, in Caduceus, and the rest of their friends.

And it works. There’s not a day that’s gone by since that he has not spared a thought to consider how lucky he is that he has Caduceus (though really, was that not true already? And is it the jacket that’s making him think that, or is that just an excuse, because  _ Fjord _ is the one who excitedly puts on the hoodie every morning, swings his head around so he can look at the printed symbol in the mirror, before the rest of his day can start.)

Some days he’s a little embarrassed when he puts it on, craning his neck in the mirror not only to look at the symbol but also to sheepishly examine his own… additions to the jacket.

_ “Could I… Could I add something to it?” Fjord says, hesitantly. _

_ “Of course,” Caduceus says, easily, so easily. “It’s yours.” _

_ “Yes, but,” and Fjord’s mouth opens and closes a few times. “Gods, ‘Deuces, it’s beautiful, thank you, it must’ve taken you.. Sorry is that disrespectful, to add something? You worked so hard and it’s already—“ _

_ Caduceus chuckles, cutting Fjord off with a small wave of his hand. “If it were like that I wouldn’t have given it to you. I made it for you, and it’s yours. Anything you add to it will only be better.” _

_ “Well, I wouldn’t— You’re the expert here.” _

_ “Not really,” Caduceus says, and he really looks amused now, but also a little sad, like Fjord doesn’t quite get something he’s saying. “I’m only in the middle of the printing course, and you’re just as much a follower of the Wildmother as I am. It’s your jacket, and it should symbolize whatever you feel for Her.” _

_ “I—“ Fjord says, because he can’t take that statement, but if Cad is alright with him adding to it, if Cad is encouraging him to, then who is he to argue? _

Which is why there’s also now a  _ very crudely _ written “WILDMOTHER BE UP IN HERE” framing the top and bottom of the symbol at the back, a little phrase Fjord started to add before he could talk himself out of it. He’s more than a little embarrassed about it, especially because  _ nobody _ told him how hard it would be to paint on fabric with a brush, so it’s honestly a wonder it came out legible. 

But Cad had smiled at it, had looked infinitely pleased and even a little impressed, had stopped and murmured, “Up in here… So true,” which Fjord didn’t remotely know how to react to besides playing it totally cool and pretending that that was exactly what he meant to do and, given the chance to take back the decision, he would fully stick with it, crude brush handwriting and all. 

Additions or not, Fjord hasn’t felt quite so grateful for someone in a long, long time, and even if Caduceus hadn’t designed and crafted and gifted such a beautiful gift for Fjord (he did that for  _ Fjord!) _ , it’s about time Fjord does  _ something _ to show his appreciation.

He looks down at the sun hat in his hands, twisting it side to side. He feels like it’s just about one, but he also feels like it’s not enough, missing something, not perfect for Caduceus yet.

“Reani?” he says. “What do you think? Do you think it’s done? Do you think he’ll like the colors?”

“Mmm,” Reani hums from Fjord’s phone. “Well, I  _ personally _ think you could’ve used more pink flowers to compliment Pinky’s hair. But aside from that,  _ yes! _ Fjord it looks  _ so good, _ he’s gonna love it!”

“You think so?” Fjord asks, instead of paying mind to her other comment; even he can recognize right now that nearly half the flowers woven onto the hat are a bright vibrant pink. No more are necessary. Probably. 

“ _ Yes,” _ Reani emphasizes again. “You are doing a very good thing, and I helped you, and  _ look at it, _ obviously it’s perfect and Pinky is gonna smile super big and probably kiss you when you give it to him.”

Immediately, Fjord’s face burns hot, and he is  _ so glad _ his orcish blood makes it so that isn’t a visible thing. Blushing, Fjord stammers for a moment before deciding to just ignore the comment entirely. He pretends to examine the hat further, flipping it around in his hands to check for the 7th time if the flowers will fall off, his mind racing.

It has been… so long since Fjord has felt like this about someone, so long that he doesn’t even know what “like this” even is. 

(As content as Fjord usually is with leaving all the romance and flirting to the other members of their friend group, sometimes, very rarely but  _ sometimes, _ Fjord wishes he could be more like Beau or Jester and just… know when he’s interested in someone and know exactly what he wants from that. 

Because Fjord doesn’t know what he wants from this. All he knows is that Caduceus has been unflinchingly kind and dedicated to him in a way he hasn’t experienced in a long time. Silly as it feels to admit, Caduceus makes Fjord feel  _ special. _ But not limited, and not obligated to be anything else. And Fjord  _ likes it, _ likes the feeling and likes Caduceus  _ a lot.) _

Eventually Fjord manages to find a way to hang up his facetime with Reani. He looks over the sun hat again. Turns it over. Flips it around. Twists his head so he can see it from yet another angle. 

Tentatively, he leans down and brings the hat closer to his face, sniffing the blossoms. They smell good, fragrant and alive and… There shouldn’t be anything else to do on the hat. Fjord leans back, rubbing one of the numerous flowers’ petals between his fingers. Between the flowers on the front of the hat is a tiny staff twisted out of twine, made to look like the walking cane Caduceus uses (he dotted it with little bits of pink and green paint, tried to decorate it the way he knows Caduceus decorates his) and to represent the shepherd’s staff in Melora’s symbol.

He rubs the petal between his fingers for just another second before he decides if he goes any longer he might accidentally crush the pretty purple bloom.

Resisting the urge to give the sun hat just one final lookover, Fjord sends Caduceus a text to meet somewhere.

Hours later, when Caduceus lets beetles crawl all over the flowers on the new hat on his head, Fjord decides that maybe Caduceus was all the hat needed to feel complete.

The next day, when Caduceus texts Fjord a picture of the underside of the brim of the hat, now with a newly stitched “Wildmother be up in here”, Fjord feels a burst of something a little humorous, a little embarrassed, and a little joyful.

Fjord texts back, and decides that while he doesn’t know all of what he wants, he wants to keep texting Caduceus and keep seeing him with beetles and keep making him laugh and laughing with him and keep complimenting his hair and keep seeing what he cooks up in his kitchen and keep… knowing and existing with Caduceus.

He’s infinitely glad to have that, and thank Her that he will keep having that.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! not super active except for reblogging art but tumblr is @modernvetherature


End file.
